Tired – Anxious – Overwhelmed – Scared – Just “Blah”….
That’s how I felt. For no real reason.
I had a strong faith in God, two beautiful boys (with the youngest being 2 months old), a supportive and loving husband, a beautiful home, a caring family, and many things to look forward to…except I didn’t – I couldn’t. I had lost my spark. My joy was gone. I didn’t feel like doing anything…except lie in bed, but even as tired as I was I didn’t sleep well. My husband tried to help by giving me time away from the kids, but I had no desire to do anything. And I was crying – a lot. The breaking point was when my 2 1/2 year old son saw me crying one day and said, “don’t cry mommy…it’ll be ok.”
It was time to get help. I did NOT want this to affect my kids!
Thankfully, my case was only mild depression brought on by a chemical imbalance caused by hormonal changes. I was put on a low dose of Zoloft and felt better within a few weeks. I have been on the meds since then. I have tried several times to wean off of them, but started feeling the overwhelming sadness again. My doctor told me that if I felt better on the low dose that I was taking with no negative side effects, that it was ok (even smart) to keep taking it. And so, I am.
I still have low moments, but they are much more manageable now. I have learned how to track my mood based on my monthly cycle. I remind myself that how I’m feeling is normal (for me anyway). That it will pass and I’ll feel more like myself soon. And I always have.
I am very blessed that my depression was easily treated with medication. It’s not that easy for others. It may take several different methods to help others with depression including various medications, therapy, etc. And I want you to know that it is OK. There is no reason to be ashamed if you need help.
We all will need help at some time in our lives. We all have struggles.
So please, share your story. Tell others.
It may help somebody who is struggling with similar issues to know that they are not alone.