This time, four years ago my family was changed forever.
I can’t help but remember…this date is forever etched in my brain.
It was a horrible day, full of disbelief, anger, sadness, fear, and confusion. I’m not going to share the details because they’re not mine to share.
But I do want to share my story and how God has brought me through it…
There was a time that I was so angry that all I could do was cry…and shake with fury…and then cry some more. I would teeter between wishing everything could go back to the way it was (knowing that it never could), to wanting to move far away and never having to deal with any of the pain (or the people involved).
I felt betrayed and lost. I wondered if I really “knew” anybody.
My life (and others) had been turned upside down.
Through those hard times, my husband was my rock.
My kids were a precious reminder that good and innocence was still in this world.
Homeschooling was a distraction.
Friends were my support.
But most importantly God was my healer…my redeemer…and my shelter in the storm.
He held me and loved me through the hurt. He gave me grace when I said ugly things and wasn’t ready or able to forgive yet. He was patient…very, very patient.
God reminded me that He was in control. That He could make beauty from the ashes.
My heavenly Father gently reminded me of how very much He had forgiven me. That I would be forgiven the way I forgave others (ouch). That as much as I wanted to, I had no right to judge.
Was it hard? YES.
Am I still a work in progress? YES.
Was the work worth it? YES, YES, YES!
Relationships were changed forever. Some were good changes and some were not. But the past is the past and we can’t go back. I am in a better place than I ever thought was possible again.
Satan tried to destroy with bitterness, anger, and resentment but my God is greater!
I know that some of my friends are struggling with various situations right now. I hope that my story offers some encouragement.
I love this new song Just Be Held by Casting Crowns (please click the link and listen – I promise you will be blessed).
Never forget that He is on the throne. That you don’t have to have it all together.
Stop holding on and just be HELD!!!